


not quite chaos

by CaibrynM



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Fluff, Kid Fic, M/M, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-03
Updated: 2019-07-03
Packaged: 2020-06-03 15:33:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19466938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaibrynM/pseuds/CaibrynM
Summary: From birthday parties to princess gowns, Dan and Phil navigate a day in their life with kids.





	not quite chaos

The sound of a door slamming echoed through the flat, closely followed by excited squeals and stampeding feet. Phil groaned loudly to no one and let his head fall to the counter with a thud.

“Ow,” he whined, drawing out the word for emphasis.

“Reckon that didn’t help much.” 

Phil lifted his head and turned his gaze towards the voice in the doorway. 

“Remind me why we agreed to this?” he asked, his palm rubbing over the now painful spot on his forehead.

Dan raised an amused eyebrow. “Are you not loving your new fairy princess persona? Your ‘Princessona’?” Dan laughed at his own joke.

Phil rolled his eyes and glanced down briefly at the pink princess dress adorning his long, lanky frame. He smirked as his attention turned to Dan, decked out in an equally gaudy green gown with ill fitting fairy wings on the back and a colourful flower crown perched upon his mop of chocolate brown curls. “I reckon I don’t pull the look off quite the way you do, fairy princess Dan.”

“Oi, don’t get overly excited there, mate. This is a still a child’s birthday party.”

Phil bit down on his lip and moved over to where Dan was standing. As he leaned forward to quietly tell Dan all about the after party he had planned for them, someone cleared their throat on the far side of the room.

“Mum! Bollocks you scared me,” Phil yelped as he jumped backwards.

Kathryn nodded, a smile threatening the corners of her mouth. “Maddie’s asking where her fairy princess fathers got off to, child.”

Phil dropped his head and heard Dan chuckling behind him.

“C’mon, then,” Dan finally piped up. “Let’s go make the best of this. She only turns seven once.” Dan grabbed Phil’s hand and dragged him back towards the lounge.

Despite his protests, and the dull ache in his head, Phil would never get tired of this. Watching his daughter dance to the music and laugh along with her schoolmates made his heart ache in a good way. He couldn’t help but shake his head in amusement when Dan suddenly hauled their son across his back and began prancing through the lounge, declaring himself the fairy princess leader and Mason his trusty dragon sidekick. 

“It’s something, isn’t it?” he heard his mum whisper quietly as he stood there. Letting his eyes drift away from the sight before him, he met her gaze, nodded, and then smiled softly. 

“I can’t believe we’ve come this far.” The quick squeeze to his shoulder let him know she understood. 

“Alright! Who wants some biscuits?” Dan called out as Karen walked into the room with a platter full of party ring biscuits. A chorus of cheers followed and suddenly the scramble was on to pick the one iced with their favorite colour. “Ease up, there’s enough to go around,” Dan laughed as he put down the tray and quickly fled the danger zone.

***

When the last child left several hours later, Phil threw himself on the couch and closed his eyes to avoid looking at the mess left behind.

“It won’t clean itself up, you know,” he heard Dan say from somewhere nearby.

“Call the cleaning service,” Phil replied without opening his eyes. 

He heard Dan chuckle. “Ah, you know I would, but they quit after Mason turned five.”

“Smart people.”

“C’mon, up. If you’re a good boy, I’ll put the green dress back on once the kids go to sleep.”

Phil opened one eye and peaked over at Dan. “And the flower crown?”

“And the flower crown, you big dork. C’mon, help me.”

“I don't hear anything. Where’re Maddie and Mase?” Phil asked, still peering at Dan but otherwise not moving.

“Kath and Karen took them to the park to run off the excess sugar.”

“Our mums are the bestest,” Phil sighed, closing his eyes once again. 

“Indeed.” 

“You know,” Phil lifted his head and made a show of raking his eyes up and down Dan’s body, “it’s rare we have an empty flat. I can think of something more fun than cleaning...” 

Dan let out a sharp laugh and threw a pillow at Phil’s head. “Later. I’m not explaining to my mum what I got up to in the green dress when she comes back and finds us all compromised and shit.”

“No fun.”

“Mmm. Guess I’ll start in the kitchen, then,” Dan mused. “I think there are biscuits leftover that I can toss in the bin. Green and blue icing. Then maybe the birthday cake.”

“Oi that’s mean. Fine. I’m helping.” Phil watched the victorious grin spread across Dan’s face. 

All things considered, Phil thought as he stood and looked around, their flat could be worse. The majority of the mess was contained to the lounge, where the party and games had been, and the kitchen, where the leftover food and dirty dishes had been deposited.

They worked relatively quickly, throwing away the trash, piling up the gifts, and wiping away all the gooey fingerprints. By the time the front door opened and little footsteps pounded through the front entry, Dan and Phil had their large five bedroom penthouse flat sorted and set back in order. 

“Papa!” 

Phil let out an awkward “oof” and teetered off balance as a small girl with long, messy brown curls threw herself into him. “Hi Mads,” he chuckled as he righted himself, “did you have fun in the park with your nanas?”

“Yup. But then Mason was trying to chase the birds and nanny got mad at him.”

“No, I didn’t,” Mason shouted back at her before turning an earnest expression back to Phil. “Papa, she’s lying.”

“I am not. She told you to stop.” 

Phil just nodded at the two kids as they argued back and forth, and glanced over to where Dan was standing next to both their mums, biting his lower lip to keep from reacting. Karen, meanwhile was assuring Mason that she was not mad at him; she’d just asked him to stop tormenting the poor birds.

“Luv.” Kathryn walked over to Phil. “I’m meeting your brother and Cornelia for dinner. I’m sure your dad has driven them crazy enough today. We’re all still meeting up tomorrow morning, right?”

“Yeah, definitely. The kids will be excited to see Dad.”

“Can’t imagine why he didn’t want to come to this fun fest,” Dan chimed in, sarcasm dripping from every word. Phil heard, rather than saw, the thunk Karen gave him as she swatted his arm. “What?” he responded innocently.

“I have to head out, too, if I’m to make my train,” she replied, ignoring Dan. 

“Madeline, Mason, go give your nanas hugs and kisses,” Phil instructed the kids who had more quietly moved their bickering over to the toy bin in the corner of the room.

“Daddy, can I play with my new toys?” Madeline turned to Dan as soon as the door was closed.

“How come I didn’t get any toys?” Mason scrunched up his face and crossed his arms defiantly across his chest.

“It’s my birthday, not yours, stupid.”

“Madeline!” Dan exclaimed sharply, causing both kids to look over at him with wide eyes. “We don’t call people names. It’s not very nice, and it can be hurtful.”

Mason suddenly burst out with a loud wail, forcing three sets of eyes to turn to him. 

“Mase, what’s wrong?” Phil asked, dropping down cautiously in front of him.

“She was hurtful,” Mason whined, a forced pout on his lips and his index finger extended in his sister’s direction.

Phil had to bite down hard to keep from laughing, and quickly turned his head. Dan, fortunately, managed to pull himself together enough to quip, “bit of a delayed reaction there, mate.”

Mason furrowed his face in confusion. “What’s a dazed racshun?”

“Delayed reaction,” Dan repeated slowly. “It means, mister,” he explained, reaching down to pick up the five year old redhead with bright blue eyes, “that you aren’t really upset, and you’re just crying to try to get your sister in trouble.”

Mason stuck his lip out. Dan mimicked his look and gave Mason’s side a quick poke, causing the youngster to giggle in response and squirm in Dan’s arms. 

“What’re you smiling at, Papa?” Madeline looked up at Phil who had been lost in the moment of Dan and Mason horsing around.

“Nothing, bugs. C’mom. Let’s go check out your presents.” He smiled down at her and took hold of her hand as they walked to where the gift bags had been laid out. “We’re not pulling them all out, though, okay?”

“Fine,” she reluctantly agreed, and started digging through the first gift bag.

“Oh, look, papa! Nail polish! It’s glittery,” Madeline exclaimed as she pulled the items out, her excitement taking over.

Phil donned his best surprised faces, oohing and ahhing appropriately as the paper went flying and the gift bags and toys ended up in a large heap on the floor by the table, all promises to ‘only open a few’ long since forgotten. 

***

“Is anyone hungry for dinner, or did you all sugar yourselves up with enough sweets today?” Dan asked a few hours later. He and Phil were settled together on the sofa, Mason was playing with some toys in the corner, and Maddie had just about every gift she’d received strewn across the floor and was in the process of sorting the pile of nail polish and glitter into groups on the coffee table.

“I’m hungry,” Mason replied, not looking up as the truck he was holding smashed ruthlessly into a pile of stuffed animals lined up on the wall.

Dan narrowed his eyes. “Mase, what are you doing to the poor stuffies?”

“It’s a T-Rex. He’s eating the bear ’cause the bear’s really a broccolisaurus.”

Madeline giggled. “It’s not called a broccolisaurus.” 

“What happened to your actual T-Rex?” Phil asked carefully.

“Maddie took it,” Mason replied, still focused intently upon the destruction of the poor stuffies. 

“I didn’t take it, I was playing with it. It needed a manicure.”

“Maddie!” Mason cried out, suddenly looking up at his giggling sister.

“How about some chicken nuggets and actual broccoli?” Dan cut in, quickly diffusing the situation with the promise of food.

“Ew, broccoli.” Maddie scrunched up her face and added a fake gag for effect. 

“You can eat some broccoli. You’ll survive.” Phil gave her a pointed look and she pouted, but immediately turned back to the polish. 

“Daddy, can I paint your nails?” she asked, holding up a sparkling jar of polish for Dan to see.

“After dinner. Okay?” Dan smiled back at her. 

“Can we have some more biscuits instead?” she asked, looking over to Phil.

“Yeah!” Mason chimed in. “I want a biscuit now. Can I have one with yellow icing?”

Phil looked over at Dan with exasperation written on his face. His head was still throbbing slightly from earlier.

Rolling his eyes so that only Phil could see, Dan leaned in to Phil’s ear and whispered, “Why don’t you go throw the chicken in the oven and I’ll stay here and mediate the bicker zone.”

“Have I mentioned recently how much I love you?”

***

By some small miracle dinner passed without incident, nails had been polished, baths had been taken and teeth had been brushed. The throbbing had finally subsided in Phil’s head and he was comfortably curled up on the sofa, a glass of wine in hand, waiting for Dan to finish tucking everyone in.

“We still have to get up early, you know,” Dan mused as he walked into the room and dropped himself into Phil’s outstretched arm. 

“Yeah. Brunch with Mum and Dad.”

Dan hummed in reply. “This room is quite the disaster. Think they’d notice if I just scooped up all the toys and tossed them into the bin?”

“Do that and I’ll be flying back to the Isle of Man with my parents tomorrow evening. You can deal with the aftermath,” Phil laughed. 

“Terrible partner you are. Leaving me to handle the tantrums all by myself?” Dan gave Phil’s side a poke, then yelped as the wine sloshed over the side of the glass and onto Dan’s sleeve.

“I reckon that serves you right. Don’t give me that look,” Phil muttered, moving out of Dan’s reach and placing the glass down on the table. “Now, about that green dress…”

“You’re incorrigible. How can you still be in the mood after today?”

“I’m always in the mood. Didn’t I tell you? You’re like, super hot.”

“Oh my god, you’re a literal dork, Phil.” The expression on Dan’s face was one of Phil’s favorites. Soft and full of love. As their eyes connected, Phil could just feel the warmth radiating between them, matching smiles revealing thousands of unspoken words. 

“C’mon.” Phil stood up, pulling Dan with him. “If you won’t put on the green dress, I at least want some cuddles. The toys can wait for tomorrow when we get home from family time.” 

***

“Do you ever think about how it was before we had the kids? Touring the world, multiple projects going on?” Phil asked as they lay in bed a short while later; still basking in the afterglow of the heavy snogging session they’d settled on as a compromise. “We used to complain…”

“T’wasnt complaining,” Dan cut in sleepily.

“Mmmm...” Phil paused, letting his thoughts swirl somewhat randomly in his head, his hand absentmindedly rubbing circles on Dan’s back. “Okay, we used to _comment_ on how chaotic our life was.”

“It was chaotic,” Dan pointed out.

“But we had people to handle some of the chaos back then.”

Dan opened his eyes and turned his head to look at Phil. “Sometimes I miss having a Marianne in our lives to ‘handle’ everything.” 

“Exactly my point. We have to handle the chaos ourselves now. I think it was simpler then and we didn’t know it.”

Dan shrugged. “I don’t think it was simpler. It was a different kind of chaos, I guess. If that’s even the right word. I don’t think our lives are that chaotic now. We handle it all pretty well, don’t we?”

“Well, we did handle today okay, I guess.”

“Phil, we literally had our mums here to handle it for us today. That’s a bad example.”

Phil chuckled and Dan pushed himself back into Phil’s embrace, closing his eyes once again. 

“I’m glad for the chaos, though. All of this. You, me, them.” Dan’s voice was getting sleepy again.

“Me too,” Phil replied softly. 

Phil dropped one last kiss to Dan’s shoulder, then carefully shuffled back to the other side of the bed. He lay there for a while letting his mind drift back to their conversation. The two of them had been a family unit for so long. Having kids had changed that family dynamic, but it wasn’t any more or less chaotic. Dan was right; it was just different. And despite the occasional bickering, the toys all over the floor and the loud, raucous playdates and birthday parties, Phil loved this new world they’d ventured into seven years ago. Well, maybe not every aspect, Phil thought as he caught sight of the green dress that Dan had slung over the chair in the corner of the room. 

Phil made a mental note to casually bring up a sleepover at Uncle Martyn’s during brunch tomorrow morning. Afterall, there were _some_ things that were definitely more fun when the kids weren’t around.

**Author's Note:**

> If you're so inclined, I can be found on Tumblr at [CaibrynM](https://caibrynm.tumblr.com)
> 
> Huge thank you to insectbah for beta reading this for me and to watergator who patiently answered my questions on British birthday parties and told me about party ring biscuits.


End file.
